Title: Glittery
Author: Kelandris the Mad
Fandom: View Askewniverse
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: Another fairly sexless number. I'm not even sure this is a completely finished story.
Status: Posted July 28, 2002
Feedback: Kelandris
Archive: Yes if you tell me
Series/Sequel: Maybe this one will sequel? Otherwise it just sequels "Seeds of the Pomegranate" and "Blond Hair and Eyeliner", in a loose, indefinite kinda way.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Kevin Smith and the View Askewniverse, save for Avriel again, who's based on that Spirit Superstore clerk. Still haven't seen her again.
Notes: Yes, Avriel is a real person, but this is my creation of her, not actually her; not that I need to make the point, but still. And I have no idea where this came from.
Warnings: Uh, anyone afraid of eye shadow, don't come in? (I know. There isn't even much in the way of leather mentioned.)
Summary: Bob helps Avriel out by agreeing to something really strange.
Dedication: for ren.


"Glittery"
by Kelandris the Mad


"What are you doing again?"

"Practicing. Shut up."

Avriel leaned forward, the tip of her pink tongue escaping her black lips. She carefully applied the cream to Silent Bob's eyelids, silently complimenting him on sitting relatively still. It was dark magenta, the cream shadow, and she blended it in a solid layer from the inner hollows of his eyes out beyond the edge of his eyebrows, and tapered it up. She carefully put the shadow brush down, then, and picked up a small bottle of clear fluid.

Bob risked a glance, opening one eye. The sharp, acid bite of the glue filled the air. It made his nostrils sting.

"I know," the goth girl said softly. "It stings a bit, too."

Bob thought about this for a while. No, he had to say something. "But--" he started.

"But it's not toxic," she reassured him, "and it won't hurt your eyes. Now close 'em again."

Bob closed his eyes, fretting a bit. Jay was due back any minute. He'd gone down the street to a new friend's of his, some new action in the area, for a basic goods trade. He didn't know what for what. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, sometimes.

But he'd looked around as Jay wandered through the neighborhood, and suddenly realized he was across the street from Curl Up and Dye. And Trieste, Avriel's shop, was next door.

**Man,** he thought. **I haven't seen her since that last night at the Pom--**

And suddenly, he just had to go in. He told Jay to go on ahead, and Jay didn't even seem to notice, humming to himself as he pimp-walked up the street to the new guy's place. And Bob turned, strolled across the street, and into the boutique.

Avriel was a menace. He still couldn't figure out what about saying hi to her had gotten him to agree to being her test bunny. And now he felt the cold stickiness of glue sliding over the top half of his eyelids.

"Okay," she breathed. "Hold your breath, and *don't move*."

He inhaled slowly, and began to count.

*One*. Sound of a jar lid unscrewing slowly. *Two. Three.* Sound of Avriel inhaling slowly. *Four. Five. Six.* And he could feel the brush, larger this time, carefully patting something onto the upper lid of his right eye, over the slowly warming patches of glue. *Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.*

"Okay," she whispered, the words barely carried on breath. "Exhale slowly."

He did, breathing out nearly silently.

"Inhale."

If she left him now, when would he know when to open his eyes? It was so odd sitting in darkness, being given directions on basic body functions. Slowly, his brain moving through odd mental territory, he inhaled again, and began to count once more.

*One. Two. Three.* He felt the brush again, moving across the left eye's upper lid. Pat. Pat. Pat. *Four. Five. Six. Seven.* Another pause while he waited, wondering when Jay was going to walk in. *Eight. Nine. Ten--*

He heard the lid of the jar being screwed back on.

"Okay," she said. "You're done. I don't advocate a great deal of movement right now, though, and you really shouldn't open your eyes for a bit."

He thought about that for a bit. Huh.

"So just...sit here?"

"Yeah, and don't blink. That'd be perfect."

Bob began to fret more, biting his lips. Jay was going to walk in. Jay was going to walk in and see this and what would he do? This wasn't the gothing-out that Avriel had put him through before. This was straight out of a fashion mag, a technique she wanted to try, to be used on other *women* for the most part. Not on guys. Not on Bob. How was he going to explain this?

"Huh," she said, her voice coming from his left hand side. He'd heard her walk around the chair to the counter, and then return, so he wasn't as startled as he'd expected.

"What?" he said softly.

"Hold on," she said. He heard the clink of plastic and glass near his chair. Now what?

"You're just...unfinished, somehow," she said. She sounded vaguely irritated. He heard the pop of a lipstick tube being opened, and his heart sank.

"Hold still," she said. Right. What else was he going to do? Run screaming into the street with his eyes still closed? Shit.

Quickly, she daubed color onto his lips, leaning close enough that he could smell her rose perfume and the residue of clove cigarettes lingering in her hair. It was a pleasant blend, but the circumstances were ever so slightly whacked. He sighed softly.

"Oh, please. It's not like I'm taking pictures, Robbo."

"Uh, Jay--"

"--is really fuckin' curious, Lunchbox," came the voice from the door.

Oh, *shit*. He risked opening an eye carefully.

He saw Avriel standing there, her brow lightly furrowed in thought. She stood there, one hand on her left shoulder, her left hand holding a tube of lipstick so dark a purple it was nearly black. He glanced down to see the pot of magenta shadow next to the closed pot of glitter. The glitter was finely ground, and seemed to consist of both magenta and copper rounds. There were traces of the dual tones on the big brush she'd used to tap it onto his eyelids.

His eyes flicked over to Jay's, and his heart sank further. The boy was grinning like this was the best comedy in the world. He sighed, leaning back against the chair.

"Hmm," the girl said. She shook her head, gathering up makeup pots and brushes. "Lemme go get that other book, something's missing."

"What," said Jay, "a long blonde wig? Maybe a little plaid skirt, how 'bout that?"

Bob cringed silently, and opened his mouth to say something, blinking, but she was gone, the beads on the back room curtain sounding loud in the still room.

**Shit. Shit. Oh, shit--**

"Man," Jay said, strolling over to Bob's chair. He rubbed his nose and straddled the larger man. "You're all...glittery."

Bob opened his mouth to speak again--what the hell was wrong with him, today? First agreeing to the makeup, and then all this fucking chatter--but Jay put a finger on his lips.

"Shhh," he whispered. His blue eyes danced with reflections of magenta and copper. He leaned forward, slowly, looking first at one eye, then at the other. Then his arms snaked around Bob's neck and he was warmly pliant against Bob's chest, and kissing him.

Slowly Bob's arms rose, sliding around Jay's lightly muscled back, and pulling the blond closer. He could feel Jay's breathing start to hitch out of him, and little thrusts of Jay's pelvis against his. Jay's tongue snuck into his mouth--

There was a loud crash from the back room, and a low growl. Jay jumped off Bob's lap, trying to look casual by the counter. Bob blinked, dazed. His eyelids felt very heavy from all the paint.

"Damn it!" Avriel said. She walked out of the back room. There were a few black feathers in her hair, and she held a handful more.

"Trina's damn fuckin' cat...got into the boas..." Then she looked up, catching the tableau.

"Huh," she said. "Maybe that's what I was wrong about."

"What?" Bob and Jay asked in unison.

"Lipstick color," she said. Jay turned to him, looking confused, and his face froze in shock. Bob looked over, struggling not to smile. Jay's lips were nearly covered in the black-purple. Oddly, it brought out his eyes.

"It looks better on your boy, here."

She walked behind the counter, rummaging for a moment.

"You wanna buy it? Maybe Robbo's more the direct red sort."

Bob began to laugh, nearly silently, but not silently enough. Jay looked daggers at him.

"Laugh it up, fat man, we'll see who's laughin' when we get home." He grabbed the tube out of her hands, flung a ten-spot at her, and stalked to the door.

"You comin', asshole?"

Jay flung the door open, waiting. Bob looked over at Avriel, shrugging, and stood up from the chair. He tossed his head towards the back room, and Jay snorted.

"Fuck it. You c'n wash up at home."

Bob's eyes widened. **Excuse me?** he thought, panicked.

"You heard me," Jay said, snarling, and walked out of the shop.

**Oh, man...**

Shaking his head, Bob walked for the door, only to have Avriel stop him.

"Here," she said softly. He looked down. She was holding out a small foil packet. In large black printing on one side, it said, *Refreshment! For the road!*

He snickered, and she giggled, and then she pushed him out of the shop.

"Sorry I got you in trouble," she called back, right before the door closed.

**Right,** he thought sarcastically. The thing was, he thought, unwrapping the moist towelette, how hard was it going to be for him to get *out* of trouble? He carefully wiped his eyes clean of most of the shadow, staring in shock at the thick layer of glitter and cream now on the towelette. He wiped his lips clean, too, the taste of lemon jarring oddly with the taste of alcohol. He looked up to see Jay glaring at him across the street.

"Your ass is *so* mine," he said to the larger man.

Bob crossed the street, his lips drawing up in a happy smile. **Yeah,** he thought. **That's what I love about this.**

He tried to look reasonably chagrined by the time he reached Jay's side. Then he just had to get in trouble again.

"Hold still," he murmured. He reached out with the clean side of the towelette, and wiped Jay's lips free of makeup. The boy's blue eyes were wide and guileless until he stepped back, and then the shield dropped back down.

"Fuck you," he snarled, turning away. Bob only smiled.

**Yeah, I got your number, boy,** he thought. Carefully, he did not laugh.


END
*****************
Kelandris the Mad
tricky little fender


I'm watching.



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