Title: Demon Slaying
Author: Kelandris the Mad
Fandom: View Askewniverse, general (Mallrats maybe)
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob (m/m graphic sex)
Rating: NC-17
Status: posted to this site in 2002
Archive: You must send an email to me and let me know where you intend to archive. Private archiving allowed as long as you don't intend to publish. Behave.
Email address for feedback: Kelandris
Series/Sequel: One-shot due to people suckering me into playing Diablo.
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Kevin Smith and the View Askewniverse. If I really get into this, I probably will too. Or at least go into hock when I walk into a video store, go into rut, and buy all the DVDs at once.
Notes: Diablo fic, whoda thunk? Actually it's not set *in* the Diablo universe, it's more of a Diablo happening. Also, Bob's a bit wordier in here than his usual Silent self.
Summary: Bob thinks Jay needs to lose a certain idea. But Jay has ideas of his own (how's *that* for vague?!?).


"Demon Slaying"
by Kelandris the Mad


*Swoosh!* *Swoop!* *Pivot!* *Thrust!*

"Shanna kills the Butcher!" Jay crowed. "She takes his gold! She kills his skeletons! Rraah!"

Jay, his long blond locks swinging behind him, was fighting demons. Or at least that's what Silent Bob assumed, walking quietly behind him. There'd been this Diablo display at the mall, some computer game, and Jay had walked into the shop and been in there for hours--so long that Bob had finally stepped into the store, seeing all the glittering new packages and raising his eyebrows, because they didn't even have a computer.

*Snap!* *Turn!* *Ping!*

"Take that, you fucking wizard! Try to kill me, will you?! Ha, Shanna will show you all!"

Walking up the stairs to home, Jay was still killing the evil spawn of the great darkness, and Bob sighed, watching him jab the keys at the front door like short dull spears.

Jay leapt into the room with a yell, swinging his imaginary sword in a wide arc, and Bob sighed again, hanging up his coat and turning to watch the mock battle being waged across his living room.

"Hurgh..." Jay made this completely believable death-gurgle, and Silent Bob shook his head. "Shanna guts the seven of you! Gets all your gold! Yaaaah!" He swooped, spun, ducked and kicked, coming far closer than the bearded man liked to the television and stereo set at the far end of the room.

Finally he tired of the boy warrior and stepped close, narrowly missing being gutted by the two invisible feet of blade. Jay blinked, still snarling, and Bob grabbed his face, planting a deep kiss on his sneering lips. It only took a moment before Jay had completely relaxed against his body, kissing him back with abandon. He could almost hear the clatter of the sword as it hit the carpet. He smiled, still kissing Jay.

**Come here, Shanna...**

With just a little effort, he turned the pliant Jay in his arms, throwing him onto the couch. He watched as Jay landed, a little dazed, and leapt on him, screaming. Jay instinctively shrank back, though the wide grin was genuine, and Bob knocked the tangle of protecting elbows and knees away. Throwing Jay's t-shirt up, he dove for each nipple, suckling it to hard knot status, listening to Jay's breathing change and the begging start.

"Yeah, Bob, fuck yeah, c'mon, yeah..."

Silent Bob growled, a low, deep, seductive sound, and looked up through the fringe of dark hair fallen over his face.

"Demons do not answer your lowly pleading, Shanna," he said. He scorched a trail of hot, wet kisses from his chest down to Jay's waist, biting the sensitive flesh of his belly as he slid down the younger man's cut-offs.

Jay whimpered, his eyes wide. Bob only laughed again, in that deep, throaty voice. He threw the cut-offs across the room, the shorts following, and saw that Jay was already hard, the tip of his cock slick with pre-cum. Bob curled a hand around Jay's cock and smiled wider; the boy was harder than he'd ever seen him. He really liked this.

Rising up Jay's body, he pinned the younger man to the couch with his full body weight, grinding his jeans against Jay's naked flesh. That earned him another whimper, and a full shudder. Oh, yes. He thrust against Jay, and Jay began babbling, tossing his head from side to side.

"Bob, please Bob, get undressed, fuck, I need you naked, c'mon, Bob, please, God, take off the damn shorts already!"

Leering at Jay, he rose just enough to allow the blond's hands to creep in under his waistband. While he licked along Jay's jawline, kissed those pretty ears, Jay reached in and grabbed Bob's cock, running his hands over it and sighing.

"Fuck yeah, that's what I want, yeah, give it to me, Bob--"

The tip of Bob's tongue darted into Jay's ear and he cried out, bucking against the larger man. That was all Bob could take. He shucked out of his cut-offs and thrust wildly, flesh to naked flesh, against the blond, moaning into his perfect pink ears.

"Is this what you want, Shanna? Do you give in?"

Jay nearly screamed, squirming in Bob's grasp.

"I give already, yeah, whatever you want, oh, fuck, oh FUCK yeah..."

Bob smiled, and knocked Jay off the couch.

"On your knees," he said, one side of his mouth quirking.

The blond dove for carpet, taking Bob's cock in his mouth in nearly the same moment, working his lips around his width with practiced efficiency. Moans and mumbles that Bob couldn't make out surfaced, causing him to twitch at the sensation of words spoken against such sensitive skin. He bit his lip, trying to hold back, trying to make it last longer, but Jay wrapped his tongue around the head, the tip curling into the slit, and he cried out, bucking against Jay's mouth, jetting hot fluid inside those sweet, sweet lips.

Then Jay rose, his eyes half-hooded in pleasure, and smiled wickedly.

"It would seem, 'demon', that Shanna has the upper hand."

What? Bob blinked, recovering, and Jay threw his legs open, spitting into his hand and coating his shaft with liquid. Pushing his thighs back, he guided the head into Bob, and Bob cried out, his eyes closing for a moment at the unexpected invasion.

Jay began smoothly thrusting, all the while talking about what Shanna was going to do next, and damn if the motion of the blond's hips hadn't driven all concept of storyline out of his fucking head...he growled a few times for effect, but mostly just moaned.

"Jay, sweet, Jay, oh, fuck yes, Jay, do that some *more*--"

Screaming, Jay came, Bob twitching underneath him, his hips thrusting against the blond's in mindless joy. Whistling, Jay rose, sliding out of Bob with only a slight facial twitch to show it affected him, and walked off to the bathroom, swinging the imaginary sword.

All right, Silent Bob thought. We get a computer. We have *got* to get you this game.

END
*****************
Kelandris the Mad
demon in your rear view


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